Pain and ‘punishment’ is a major part of the dominant / submissive dynamic.
However, unless you’re uber hardcore (and most people aren’t) they aren’t the way real life disagreements and arguments are sorted.
Unless of course that's your thing and you want to, in which case rather you than me. Toys and the like can be fun, but most people I know who indulge in such things don’t have that much kit to do so, and lots of them also manage it in shared houses or small flats with nearby neighbours.
Christian Grey marking Anastasia’s breasts because she dares to bare while sunbathing on holiday is not an act of sexual punishment, it’s the act of a horrible and jealous husband and no number of first edition books, gadgetry or helicopter flights to swanky restaurants can or should make up for it.
As a man who yearns for complete control, Christian Grey has an opinion on everything going on in Ana’s life – from her friends, to what she wears, what she eats, even when she heads off to her GP.
If you read the full Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy Ana and Christian's relationship is - frankly - a bit bonkers at times.
'Emotional rollercoaster' doesn't begin to cover it.
Her book The Diary of a Submissive is published by Penguin and out now on Kindle / i Tunes.